Anyone with $20 in their pocket can have a brand-new used couch. Just hand me the cash and go pick it up. I've been storing it out front of 108 Grand Ave. for the past couple weeks. It might be missing a few cushions. It might be a little soggy after this week's rain. Other than that, it's good to go. It will fit with perfect elegance into the benign ambiance of a doctor's office just as easily as into the beer-fueled mayhem of a college party house. And the price can't be beat.

OK. You got me. The couch is free. Just go pick it up, it's been an eyesore on Grand Ave. for the past couple weeks, and I'm just plain sick of it.

Have a nice weekend, see you on Monday.